Be an ethical finsub

Let’s set up a scenario with our favorite example: the cute barista. Or if it suits you better, imagine a waitress or bartender. And let’s say you want to generously tip her. How is that perceived by the wider findom community? Tipping, at least in the US, is a customary practice. But Reddit has taught me that the motivation behind tipping is what really matters. And as we all know, Reddit is never wrong.

If you’re a vanilla dude, then it’s simply a generous tip.

If you’re a finsub, then I’m afraid you must jump through a few hoops. Because even if you don’t say or show anything that would reveal your private thoughts, you’re held to a higher standard. What I’m saying is you can’t just simply leave a tip and leave. Because as a finsub, it’s inconceivable that you’re leaving a large tip because of excellent service. Your money is forever tainted. With that in mind, you must disclose to her that you’re a paypig. Chances are she’ll have no idea what that means. So you’ll need to take an extra 15 minutes to summarize what findom is all about along with a deep dive into safe BDSM practices. Be sure she knows this is a sexual activity. Furthermore, she should realize that when you’re in the privacy of your own home, you’ll be masturbating to some obscene fantasy centered around her. And then—and this is the most important part—you should get verbal confirmation from her that she consents to being your sex worker. It’s better to get this confirmation in writing, but there’s no need to overdo it.

Hopefully you’ve all read this far, otherwise I may have turned into the morality police in the eyes of many people. Does the previous paragraph seem a bit silly to you? I would hope so. I think it’s silly. There’s an argument to be made that we shouldn’t impose our kinks onto unsuspecting people. But assuming you’re keeping your hands, words, and expressions to yourself, sometimes a tip is just a tip.