How do you trust again?

I’ve had some great experiences on here, but also many disappointments. The general advice is to do your research, check reviews, the comments section etc. I’m happy to take a chance on someone, but in findom that basically means burning a load of cash for no reason. I’ve probably spent 3 or 4 times as much money on dommes who were lazy, inexperienced, or simply incompatible—rather than ones I actually appreciate, adore, and who deserve my devotion. Which doesn’t sit right with me. Seriously, I have zero guilt around findom, but this makes me feel horrible.

It’s changing me. I’m cynical to the point I hesitate to approach anyone, even if they have the perfect profile and a vibrant comments section. Statistically around 30% of those will actually be decent. It’s also making me a worse sub: needy and inflexible because the desires and expectations carry over. If someone needs water, and they buy vodka instead, it will only make them thirstier. Which I hate with a flaming passion. I truly miss being a more selfless type of submissive.

Perhaps it’s the platform? I know twitter is a generally a cesspool, but it feels there’s less of a dissonance between what you see vs. what the experience will be. Maybe I should try LF? Tbh I’m not looking for any advice, I just needed to vent and move on. I know there are incredibly hard working and talented dommes out there.

submitted by /u/sensei_kitten
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