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Happy New Year to everyone out there! ✨ Thank you, and I hope this year brings you clarity, joy, and the courage to follow your own path. Whatever path you take even if that means quitting I’m cheering for you and hoping 2026 brings you happiness, growth, and success!

People often believe that being submissive makes u helpless and inferior, yet what happens internally is often the complete opposite. I believe many submissive use their submission as a way to let go off expectations, worries and self-monitoring; basically factors that can make living more stressful. Being submissive can get rid of all those stressful factors because you delegate responsibility and agency to another person and in return dont have to worry too much about your own behavior, how you are perceived and any goals you need to accomplish.

It’s not much but it’s a start. I’ve had fun my first year being an active finsub but can only imagine there’s more ahead.

Is there a way to filter the Dommes from subs in here? No, I’m not looking for a sub, but I need a list. I’d like to flip the script for a couple subs on New Year’s and gift THEM for being amazing. Although the Dommes are always spoiled, just this one time I’d love to pick a couple at random to send to kick off my new year off right! 💜💜

So, I’ve been in chats where there’s one Goddess and several of us giving her money/competing for her favor.

I wonder if anyone has been in one where there are 2-4 Goddesses who are IRL friends, each have one sub, and we’re all in the chat together showing off how much each of us love serving ours and share sends and stuff.

Anyone done this before?

(Not actively looking right now. Waiting until I’m caught up financially to start again. Just asking if this has been done.)

Just learned that my kids dad has been sending girls money for years, as recently as last week while we were having family Christmas. I’m completely in shock & heartbroken from the betrayal I’m feeling from all of the lies. At the end of the day, I’m not kink shaming, I’m not shocked by his sex addiction, I’m just mad about the hiding the $ part. He’s made me feel guilty for how I spend then I find out what hes actually doing. I saw transactions from at least 2yrs back. Seemed a little inevitable that he’d eventually slip up despite trying so hard to hide it, so my question is, from those in his same kinky boat, if you got “caught” by a partner, how could they best handle the shock? Bc honestly I would have been his dom very very painfully well if I knew that’s what he wanted but I’m guessing he doesn’t see me that way as the mother of his kids. We’ve been rocky in this stage lately but I still love him, but I truly don’t feel that him being in a relationship is what he needs right now. So how do I move forward?

Sometimes I wonder if findom is right for me. Finding the right domme is definitely difficult and can be exhausting because vetting, getting to know someone, figuring out if its a good match.

That and initial tributes and the expectation for me to pay just to talk to someone makes me very careful.

Im not a fan of initials, just because im not a session seeker and instead hope to cultivate a dynamic. I know I know, this is findom, but I grew up in a low income household and getting your money’s worth has been drilled into me. Id say part of my success came from making smart choices as I graduated debt free and have started putting money in my 401k. And sending initials into the void once taught me that people who ask for them aren’t compatible with my flavor of findom. Which is fine and dandy, we all like different things.

But most importantly, it feels like a waste of time trying to look. My last domme and I lasted a year before we both wanted different things (she found a loving boyfriend). Since then, due to unsuccessful searches, I think I may be better off spending time looking for something irl or using my time for other things, simply because I’ve been putting in and investing time, and things haven’t bore fruit.

Findom is fun, but the search is time consuming.

(Seems like a lot of subs feel the same way based on comments)

When I think of findom – I think of finanical control. Someone controlling a budget, permission to spend, adhering to rules and having my money controlled.

It appears that now, findom is akin to paid femdom but we just call it “findom” almost as a mirage to appear more noble in a sense. There is dominance involved, but can we really call relapsing to a pretty girls middle finger and midriff dominance? No shocker, those profiles with really attractive women and relapse inducing posts are making a sizable chunk of money.

When the exchange of money for often sexual attention and special focus (drains, sessions, calls, setting, fincucking humiliation) is done, its just one person sending money in exchange for an experience almost like a pro-domme session but online. Kinks are asked and the domme fulfills them and the dynamic is tailored such.

Sends are used as payment and not necessarily control.

An example I see that’s popular is a toxic girlfriend experience and on the opposite spectrum – a domme who “builds a man” and does a positive gfe while taking a lot of money from a guy while reinforcing that real men are submissive when its pretty close to one sided simping.

Im not complaining about the transactional nature and how the shift in findom has occurred, because let’s not lie – paid femdom is really fun and the version of findom where financial control is exerted is a lot more maintenance and time compared to pumping and gooning sessions.

And its not really anyone’s fault. Subs like to bust and edge and be tickled and dommes enjoy draining (who wouldn’t) while getting off.

My favorite version of “findom” or sub-branch is one where two people relate well (usually close in age). As someone who is born after 2000 – I’ve been in dynamics where its almost like friends / best friends (with calls, gaming, and other mutually fun activities done) on a lower budget. There usually isn’t a budget because its pretty much a femdom dynamic except sends are done on a purely volunteering basis and there is 0 expectation for sends. This type of dynamic is usually found on Discord servers and is actually somewhat common in people aged 18-25 because both subs and dommes are the same age and the purpose is mutual fun first and sends way after. With that being said, some of the dommes do get four digit sends at times.

All forms of dynamics are valid, but the shift is interesting to see, due to simple convenience and less effort on both sends to shift to paid femdom, add some texting, and call it findom.