Blog

So I’m literally so addicted to findom it hurts my economy so badly but even my social life etc. wtf do I do? How do I stop it’s so easy to just get the kick so I can’t stop. I have tried so much please help

I told her I was Done. No mas. Adios. Fin. Then she sent me this. I gave her EVERYTHING.

Is it just me or is it easier to stay distracted during the holiday season? I’ve been so busy i haven’t even really thought about my needs or anything like that. I’ve been spending money on people in my life and feeling pretty good about it. I’m pretty sure that once this settle down I’ll have to face it all again but overall I’m enjoying this holiday for me!

Hey so I’ve always figured theoretically this was a way to blow off steam and so I’ve held the idea of it as a fantasy as untrue. Then I met a domme who changed the idea for me. She was perfect for me in every way. It was like she was in my head. She started with sfw pictures and I played along not expecting much. Then she turned really dirty and used her body to control me in ways I didn’t expect. I did things I haven’t ever done and felt excitement I’ve never had with kinks before. She taught me a lot! She disappeared and she’s offline completely. Now I’m stuck needing. I sent her a Christmas present and I guess that’s the last we will communicate. I’m going to try and take Christmas to cool down now

Vague posts that describe your elaborate fantasy and the exact type of domme that would meet your needs with a redundant question of “is this normal?” You aren’t clever or cute – these will be at the discretion of the mods to remove.

Repeat offenders will be banned.

This community is designed to help people in their kink journey with advice, tips, humour or leaving it when it has turned toxic.

Please use one of the seeking subreddits for finding a new domme…. Or a lost one.

Do you have any suggestions?

What I experience:

1. Dommes going straight into insult and disingenuous roleplay mode instead of sending normal messages first. To me, it shows a lack of respect.

2. Dommes not taking into account my requirements/boundaries I mention in my post (for example, when I say, I dont want to serve a faceless domme and then a faceless domme DMs me)

3. Dommes not accepting that I wont send to them before they verify their identity (there are just way too many scammers out there)

So after much reflection and a significant break from findom, I think I figured out what I’m into. I’m curious if anyone else feels the same way.

The best way I can explain this is dominant princess.

Female led relationships are often like a queen-knight relationship. She is the leader and commander. He is the obedient servant, who derives a sense of pride and honor from fulfilling his duty well.

But what I like is more of a princess, to be pampered and spoiled, but that expects me to also be the provider and leader in a sense. I’m not some loser, I’m an educated professional with a lucrative career.

This extends to the bedroom. I have little interest in being slapped around, even less in having my nuts harmed. But boy oh boy do I love being relentlessly teased and denied. I think a real pillow princess is a lot of fun, and giving my partner pleasure is genuinely more rewarding to me than getting myself off. (My thinking is this is the natural biological order of things which is why women can climax many times while men only once)

So one can see where I’d be into findom. But I never really wanted someone to control my finances. I just think it’s hot to buy shoes for entitled pretty girls, cuz it lights up my shame-arousal association circuit. But the financial spoiling is just a small facet of the Bossy Princess archetype that really turns me on.

I’m still very new to this stuff but honestly the kind of soft/vanilla domme experiences that newer subs tend to be guided to are not as interesting to me as some of the more mean spirited or unethical forms of domination I keep seeing. Originally I was looking for a bossy sugar baby, but after a couple weeks in findom spaces I have to be honest and admit I’m really keen to try out stuff like cuckolding, blackmail, intense humiliation and psychological sadism, and so much more. I’m just feeling held back by the idea that this stuff isn’t a good idea for newer submissives. Do you think I could start these things anyway? It’s all just play, after all.