How do I finally stop fighting it and just fully embrace that I’m a paypig?

I’m so tired of the cycle. I keep telling myself I’m “done” with findom, deleting accounts, blocking Dommes, pretending I’m going to fix myself… then two days later I’m right back on my knees in DMs, frantically begging literally like a freaking dog.

It’s humiliating. It’s expensive. It turns me on more than anything else ever has… because it’s humiliating… And I’m done pretending I want it to stop.

I’ve tried no-fap, gym, all of it. Nothing works because deep down I don’t actually want it to work. The second I see a new pedicure pic I lose my mind and reach for my phone.

So yeah, I’m not here asking how to quit. I’m past that. I know I’ll never quit.

I’m here asking how to finally surrender for real… how to lean all the way in and accept that this is who I am: a paypig, a wallet, a slave… and actually feel good about it??